American Life In The Summertime #30 - Communism

After roughly 11 weeks altogether in various former Soviet-controlled countries of East Germany, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, Serbia, Slovenia, Romania, Albania, Poland, Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania, there is only one conclusion that can be drawn: Communism is stupid. I know that rogue countries such as Cuba continue to hold out and have produced one of the finest medical systems in the world - completely state provided and free - but despite these exceptions it was a perfect example of a good idea in theory which ignored some basic elements of human nature: mainly selfishness. It did however result in some amazingly absurd and bureaucratic rules, some of which survive to this day, my favourite being that dogs travelling on the Budapest metro still need their own travel pass, however in a concession to the difficulty of standing on hind legs in cramped photo booths, unlike passes for humans the pass is not required to contain a photo of said dog.

Being here reminded me that, amazingly, all this was only 20 years ago. A quick perusal of a 1989 Stasi (state security) list of punishable offenses in the former East Germany shows such dangers to society as "negative statements", "showing too little enthusiasm" and "persistent non voter". A gathering of 6 or more people was illegal. Independent thought was fiercely discouraged and an enemy was anyone who failed to conform to the system. Despite being heralded as a workers' paradise, incentive to actually work was low because if the State-set quotas were met, they were simply raised for the next year with no improvement to pay or conditions. The entire system was defined by a ruling class so far out of touch that the decisions they made demonstrated no knowledge of the real world; a swollen & largely untalented middle level of functionaries who were too scared to inform the rulers of their ignorance but whose chief ability was sucking up to those above them & reporting on those beneath them to curry further favour; and the masses, who didn't believe a word they were told by anyone in "authority" but held to the mantra I saw repeated several times in several countries here: "As long as they keep pretending to pay us, we'll keep pretending to work." Overall, the similarities to being back at work myself were spooky.

But as always, such nonsense eventually fails, and breeds a unique sense of humour and quirkiness in the people who live through it. I got a lift from Berlin to Prague with 3 German film students who were on their way to Prague to make the movie "David Hasselhoff and the Cold War", on the premise that the Hoff's 1989 appearance singing on the Berlin Wall singlehandedly brought about the end of the Cold War (and why not). In Prague, the Museum of Communism is now housed in the same building as McDonalds, and a casino. When I was in Bucharest a man threw his wife out of a window for refusing him sex, and was interviewed after on TV looking supremely calm as if this was an entirely reasonable response for one forced to put up with such inhuman conditions. People continue to hold old-style Communist market stalls in the quaint hope that someone will wish to buy their random collection of irons, electrical converters, juice, goats, shoe polish, belts, fruit, padlocks, and remote controls for appliances of the type not seen even in these countries since 1960. Despite the fact that the only possible people who would have any need for these goods would be the 400 other stallholders also selling exactly the same merchandise for the same price right next door, they are all there every day, shouting over the top of each other to attract the tourists. I think they just all buy from each other to swap their inventory around & provide some variety in the view from their stalls, which is about as solid a basis for an economy as the system they abandoned anyway.

Overall, the young people in the former Communist countries are engaging, vibrant, and hopeful for the future. The older generation - well.....not so much. It must be said they are not the most helpful of souls. Attempting to coax an answer from women at train station "information" desks is met with irritable stares for having interrupted their game of computer Solitaire, which I guess is a holdover from the days when your job was really not that necessary apart from to keep the masses busy & convinced of the joys of working together for the betterment of Soviet society. These days, however, some of the duties performed by anyone over the age of 40 might actually be of some importance, such as checking canine travel passes to crack down on rampant illegal use by other dogs. In any event, in the words of someone whose job is of supreme importance (ie providing lowbrow chat shows for my entertainment and to assure me that at least my life isn't *that* bad) - til next time: take care of yourselves.....and each other.