However things quickly picked up in these former Soviet satellite states. Estonians are nothing if not opportunistic. Already occupied by Russia just before the October Revolution in 1917, in February 1918 the Germans were moving in on the Estonian capital Tallinn, and so the Red Army withdrew. In the 6 hours between the withdrawal of Russian troops and the arrival of the German occupation, Estonia promptly declared independence. The fact that they were immediately re-occupied by first Germany, then Russia again in World War II before finally achieving their freedom for good in 1991, does not stop Estonians from continuing to celebrate February 24 1918 as their "Independence Day" (they also get to hold another one celebrating freedom from the Soviets on 20 August 1991. Both of these, satisfyingly, Estonians take off as national holidays).
To stop the Soviets from destroying the city in order to rebuild it in the Soviet image, as was their wont at the time, the citizens of Tallinn had established a habit of turning the lights out at night, making it impossible for Soviet bombers to find. This strategy actually worked until Womens Day, when the Estonians kind of forgot they were supposed to be hiding from Russian bombers and let off so many fireworks that Tallinn was promptly located and a bombing raid hastily organised. Sadly, the men of the Russian air force proved to be so hung over (yes, from Womens Day celebrations) that women were forced to operate the aircraft, and bomb the city that had been revealed due to Womens Day celebrations. Yay, equality.
Estonia clearly took their Stupid Ways To Destroy Your City lessons from neighbours Latvia. 100 years before Tallinn's Womens Day celebrations, Napoleon's army was sweeping toward the Latvian capital Riga, and rather than fight a superior force the Riga town leaders had the contingency plan to burn down the city as they escaped, leaving Napoleon nothing to take (the fact that this "scorched earth" policy was copied by the Russians 100 years later & allowed them to withstand the German assault during World War II, and eventually fight back & then occupy Latvia themselves for six decades is an irony apparently lost on the Latvians, judging from the small sample I took). Anyway, one day the Riga lookout noted the presence of an approaching army and duly signaled the town guard to burn the city. Several hours later, with no sign of Napoleon, scouts were deployed to observe that the approaching army was, in fact, a herd of cows, making Latvia the only country in the world where the citizens burned down their own capital city to avoid capture by cows.
After spending the better part of the last 18 months in many different parts of the world as varied as Africa, the US, and Europe, I am starting to come to the troubling conclusion that it is not that these places harbour a slightly daggy affection for music from The Decade (you know which one I mean). Sadly, it seems that only Australia has felt that they need to appear cool & move on at all, because the Baltics, like most of Europe, Africa and the USA, are still suckers for 80's music. On a recommendation we went to a bar in Estonia and discovered that it was student night. Despite initial concerns that this would mean a night suffering through music which might charitably be described as "after my time", student night apparently involved a large screen being set up in the middle of the bar on which a succession of 80's music videos were shown, and a succession of Estonian students stared transfixed at them, moving awkwardly in the kind of "dancing" I know only too well. Not merely your average 80's songs, these videos were absolutely the top of their game, some of which even I had forgotten: dudes with huge curly perms, girls with severe power mullets (the female version of which I like to call the Mullette), double denim everywhere, and my personal favourite of the guy laying back playing the sax bare-chested in bed (he was "Hungry For Love", you see, but how this could be possible with the image he was presenting the world I don't know). Best was the prehistoric technology in evidence at the start of the MTV era, where video sets involved a backdrop of a plain black curtain into which had been embedded a modest number of bare white light bulbs, which blinked in rudimentary co-ordination and represented the very height of video clip production available at the time. Needless to say, I was very pleased. The Baltics might have only joined the western world in the last 20 years, but they seem to be paying eternal homage to the popular culture of the time they achieved their freedom, and that's completely alright with me. The Baltics are definitely worth a visit. Just stay inside during Womens Day, and don't annoy the cows. 'Til next time: take care of yourselves.....and each other.
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