Once in a very great while something happens which reminds you why you travel. Such a thing occurred recently when we went out to watch a soccer game at a local bar with a couple of people from the hostel. At one point the camera focused on one of the players and, being somewhat of an expert myself in my younger days, I made the throwaway comment that you could always count on the South Americans for a decent mullet. A German girl with us looked at me quizzically and I explained the finer points of everybody´s favourite "business on top, party at the back" hairstyle, made famous in the 80's and enjoying a recent, if somewhat tongue-in-cheek, resurgence (as should all things from that most awesome of decades). "Ahhh", she said in recognition: "vokuhila".
Now, I had assumed that the English term "mullet" was pretty much universal and would have been absorbed into the language of foreign cultures like so much else, so I can´t describe what pleased me more on this occasion: the fact that the Germans have so much reverence themselves for this fashion statement that they have independently come up with their own word for it, or the word itself - it is, with typical German efficiency, a shortening of the first 2 letters of the words "vorn kurz hinten lang", which translates literally as "front short back long". Words cannot even describe the greatness. Even better was the deep, throaty German inflection with which she delivered the word, indicating the awesome power & presence that such hair demands, like Jabba the Hutt sentencing Princess Leia to a lifetime of slavery and servitude in the gold bikini: "VOKUHILA". Excellent.
Welcome to Germany, home of sausage, sauerkraut, and strange words. Like VOKUHILA (which from now on will be capitalised, italicised, bolded, underlined, and increased in font size and made a more powerful colour if I can manage it to truly represent the awesomeness of this word), the Germans do like to make up words. Typically they do this not by creating a new word for something like in English, but by continuing to combine existing words until they have something approximating what they are trying to describe, but which is impossible to translate literally. Thus, CPR becomes "herzkreislaufwiederbelebung", or heart-circle-run-again-enlivenment, and "rolltreppenbenutzungshinweise" means rolling-stairs-use-tips, which is of course advice on the correct use of an escalator, obviously a major issue in average German life. The best thing about this method of word creation is that you can, if fancy takes you, substitute words in the chain to make new words which are also entirely valid, so "Donaudampfschiffahrtskapitänswitwe" might be an actual word which means Danube-steam-ship-line-captain's-widow, but "DonaudampfschiffahrtskapitänsVOKUHILA" is far more satisfying. And if the mullet of the captain of a steam ship on the Danube doesn't deserve its own word, then I really don't know what does.
The Germans, bless them, do also like things to be ordered. Chief among this is the German preference for pre-booking travel, so that everybody knows that they wish to go by train from Munich to Nuremberg on exactly a particular date in 13 weeks' time. As a result all public transport in Germany operates like airline tickets, with huge discounts for early booking of trains and buses, making the walk up, last minute prices for shmucks like me who decide on a whim where to go next and simply turn up at the station, hideously expensive. To combat this, the Germans have established a vast, confusing network of travel passes designed to save you money if you make 5 trips within one month not separated by a full moon falling on a Thursday or whatever, all of which require the same level of pre-planning anyway, with the result that any journey in Germany without some sort of transport card is the travel equivalent of unprotected sex: it might feel better, but it's going to cost you a lot more if you keep it up. So to speak.
Lest you think I am making fun of Germany, it was definitely one of my favourite countries so far. The beer is quality, the hospitality open and genuine, and it has one of the strongest economies in the world, giving Germans a sense of confidence which is quite appealing when combined with a casual attitude to nudity. To their eternal credit, Germany's role in both world wars and a large part of human history for the last hundred years, the history of Nazism etc, are not taboo subjects here. Virtually every city has some sort of museum documenting the holocaust or the rise of the nazi party, and it must be remembered that the unfairness of the Treaty of Versailles, in which Germany was declared solely responsible for World War I and forced to concede huge amounts of territory and make massive reparations, had virtually everything to do with sowing the seeds of discontent and creating the fertile ground which made national socialism (nazism) possible, and lead to World War II. I was talking to a German guy and asked whether questions about the past made him uncomfortable or whether he felt any implicit accusation in them, and he said not in the slightest - this all happened over 30 years before he was born and for him, and all Germans today, this is history, to be learned. I guess it would be the same if anybody asked me about Australia's past treatment of aborigines, or an American about slavery: something we can easily admit was wrong, but we don't feel in the slightest personally responsible. Nevertheless Germany does not shirk from it and in fact embraces it as a large part of the tourism market in the country. Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak said that "No country wears its history on its sleeve with as much class as Germany", and I agree. And so would Jerry, so 'till next time: take care of yourselves.....and each other.
Now, I had assumed that the English term "mullet" was pretty much universal and would have been absorbed into the language of foreign cultures like so much else, so I can´t describe what pleased me more on this occasion: the fact that the Germans have so much reverence themselves for this fashion statement that they have independently come up with their own word for it, or the word itself - it is, with typical German efficiency, a shortening of the first 2 letters of the words "vorn kurz hinten lang", which translates literally as "front short back long". Words cannot even describe the greatness. Even better was the deep, throaty German inflection with which she delivered the word, indicating the awesome power & presence that such hair demands, like Jabba the Hutt sentencing Princess Leia to a lifetime of slavery and servitude in the gold bikini: "VOKUHILA". Excellent.
Welcome to Germany, home of sausage, sauerkraut, and strange words. Like VOKUHILA (which from now on will be capitalised, italicised, bolded, underlined, and increased in font size and made a more powerful colour if I can manage it to truly represent the awesomeness of this word), the Germans do like to make up words. Typically they do this not by creating a new word for something like in English, but by continuing to combine existing words until they have something approximating what they are trying to describe, but which is impossible to translate literally. Thus, CPR becomes "herzkreislaufwiederbelebung", or heart-circle-run-again-enlivenment, and "rolltreppenbenutzungshinweise" means rolling-stairs-use-tips, which is of course advice on the correct use of an escalator, obviously a major issue in average German life. The best thing about this method of word creation is that you can, if fancy takes you, substitute words in the chain to make new words which are also entirely valid, so "Donaudampfschiffahrtskapitänswitwe" might be an actual word which means Danube-steam-ship-line-captain's-widow, but "DonaudampfschiffahrtskapitänsVOKUHILA" is far more satisfying. And if the mullet of the captain of a steam ship on the Danube doesn't deserve its own word, then I really don't know what does.
The Germans, bless them, do also like things to be ordered. Chief among this is the German preference for pre-booking travel, so that everybody knows that they wish to go by train from Munich to Nuremberg on exactly a particular date in 13 weeks' time. As a result all public transport in Germany operates like airline tickets, with huge discounts for early booking of trains and buses, making the walk up, last minute prices for shmucks like me who decide on a whim where to go next and simply turn up at the station, hideously expensive. To combat this, the Germans have established a vast, confusing network of travel passes designed to save you money if you make 5 trips within one month not separated by a full moon falling on a Thursday or whatever, all of which require the same level of pre-planning anyway, with the result that any journey in Germany without some sort of transport card is the travel equivalent of unprotected sex: it might feel better, but it's going to cost you a lot more if you keep it up. So to speak.
Lest you think I am making fun of Germany, it was definitely one of my favourite countries so far. The beer is quality, the hospitality open and genuine, and it has one of the strongest economies in the world, giving Germans a sense of confidence which is quite appealing when combined with a casual attitude to nudity. To their eternal credit, Germany's role in both world wars and a large part of human history for the last hundred years, the history of Nazism etc, are not taboo subjects here. Virtually every city has some sort of museum documenting the holocaust or the rise of the nazi party, and it must be remembered that the unfairness of the Treaty of Versailles, in which Germany was declared solely responsible for World War I and forced to concede huge amounts of territory and make massive reparations, had virtually everything to do with sowing the seeds of discontent and creating the fertile ground which made national socialism (nazism) possible, and lead to World War II. I was talking to a German guy and asked whether questions about the past made him uncomfortable or whether he felt any implicit accusation in them, and he said not in the slightest - this all happened over 30 years before he was born and for him, and all Germans today, this is history, to be learned. I guess it would be the same if anybody asked me about Australia's past treatment of aborigines, or an American about slavery: something we can easily admit was wrong, but we don't feel in the slightest personally responsible. Nevertheless Germany does not shirk from it and in fact embraces it as a large part of the tourism market in the country. Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak said that "No country wears its history on its sleeve with as much class as Germany", and I agree. And so would Jerry, so 'till next time: take care of yourselves.....and each other.
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