American Life In The Summertime #18 - "Special Administrative Region"

Néih hou from Hong Kong, a "Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic Of China, operating under the 'one country, two systems' principle", which basically means "We want to make clear that Hong Kong belongs to China now but we don't want to admit that our system is crap". Hong Kong, at least the Hong Kong I saw, was hugely expensive, with my first beer purchase (indeed my first purchase of any kind after leaving Australia) weighing in at a hefty 13 Australian dollars. This was also the cost of an entire meal and so, sadly, there was only one solution if the budget was to hold up for an entire year. I missed food but beer was a workable substitute & I even enhanced the health properties of such a diet by following nutritionists' advice and having several meals during the course of the day.

In Hong Kong I stayed with a friend from college who I hadn't seen for over a year & who moved to Hong Kong for work while I was in Africa, so some solid catching up was called for. One night we came back after a rather late night involving the consumption of several of my new meals, and I collapsed straight to bed. Some time during the night I felt the need of the bathroom, which, Hong Kong apartments being what they are, was accessed through the main bedroom. As I opened the door I was met with the unexpected sight of the bedroom lights fully on, the remains of a late night munchie attack strewn about the room and my friend passed out on the bed butt-ass naked. As traumatic as this was for me I have since considered what it would have been like for my mate, who, I'm sure, did not intend to/remember falling asleep with the lights on & nude, to wake in a somewhat bewildered state some hours later to find himself face down naked and his college buddy in the room with a similarly startled look. On reflection I should have thrown $2 on his pillow & gave him a wink as I walked out but I must admit my new meal plan has left me not quite as sharp as I should be.

Next stop was Amsterdam, which thus far has been met with disbelieving smirks when I explain that it was the only airport in a straight line between Hong Kong and London which kept me under the 26,000 mile limit for my round-the-world air ticket ("sure....."). I can assure you if I wanted to specifically start this trip in Amsterdam, I wouldn't have done it in early March when even the famous ladies in the windows are wrapped up like Islamic nuns. It must be hard to attract business when all you seem to be offering is a warm cubicle, but at 5 degrees I guess it's actually a pretty smart way to entice customers inside and continue negotiations from there.

The Netherlands is renowned as a very tolerant society, however even I was surprised at the lengths to which this is taken in Amsterdam.

As broad-minded as this seemed to a man raised in football locker rooms where dropping the soap was considered a declaration of major lifestyle change, culture shock so far has not been too much of an factor. Europeans have an endearing habit of apologising for the quality of their English, despite the fact that in most cases it is actually quite good and my knowledge of their language generally extends as far as "beer", "bar" and "But officer, she said she was 26" (hard to judge, those Europeans). It is as if they feel they should have studied harder in preparation for my coming to their country. So despite ending up inadvertently ordering shots of weird liquors on occasion when I thought I was simply trying a different beer, the language barrier so far has been a non-issue.

One factor that was an issue, however, was chopsticks. Now I know it's all about preserving their culture & whatever, but honestly, no-one can really think that chopsticks are a more efficient way of doing *anything*. The result, as usual, is my ending up with the messiest place at the table and a hand cramp that would make a 14 year old boy wince. Obviously, it is *possible* to learn to eat with chopsticks, in the same way that it would be possible to learn to use them to, say, paddle a canoe, or install an air conditioner, but my question, as always, is why you would bother. Thankfully, the beer meal plan quickly negated the need for any further learning of this particular skill, which was another bonus. Plans from here include flying to Turkey for ANZAC Day and attending the Running Of The Bulls in Pamplona, so stay tuned. And that seems an apt place to leave this first edition of ALITS from Eurotrip 2009. As Jerry says, 'til next time, take care of yourselves.....and each other.